We need to talk about Kevin
by IocasteXXIV
Summary: After his return to Night Vale, Carlos only wants to live in the present, Kevin wishes he couldn't remember the past and Cecil decides that they need to change the future. -A one-shot dealing with the events of "Episode 73"- (Basically I wrote this to make myself feel better after "Triptych" :-P)


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Carlos

 **Home**. This must be the best word of all. Even better than _mystery_ or _science_.

Carlos was laying on his bed, facing the ceiling Cecil had painted sky-blue. Right here, in this moment he was genuinely happy.

But then there was a disruption. A movement in the sheets. The man next to him mumbled something and grabbed his hand. How perfect their fingers fit. And yet, Carlos couldn't help but being scared. Scared of the moment the other man would open his lids. Scared of what would lie behind them.

He had never told Cecil about this fear. How could he. It was just... while they were awake the two men wore their faces so different, but when they slept it was nearly impossible to tell them apart.

The man next to him finally awoke, grey-blue eyes fluttering open. Cecil. Of Course.

Still he couldn't help but let a relieved sigh escape his lips. He was home.

Carlos bowed forward to kiss his boyfriend on the forehead. "It's so great to be back again." Cecil smiled. "It is great to have you back. "

They had breakfast on the balcony together. How he had missed those dark mornings. How he had missed Cecil's bitter coffee. And how could he ever have doubted he belonged anywhere but here.

Cecil told a story that happened to Janice the other day and they both laughed.

After Cecil left, Carlos cleaned the table, and headed to the lab where he took out the notes he had renewed during the last month. Nothing against all the work he lost of course, but at least it was something. He thumbed through the pages while his mouth formed silent calculations, but he wasn't focused. Again and again his thoughts wandered towards the windows and his eyes followed.

Somewhere out there was a radio station sending out broadcasts no one would ever listen to. Somewhere was a man, he had left alone. What sort of a friend leaves his friend alone in the middle of a desert?

He tossed his notes aside and reached for the radio. He had to hear Cecil's voice to remember he was truly home. Perfect timing, the broadcast just started.

 _"What_ 's _past is_ _prologue_. _What_ 's _future is epilogue. This right here is maybe chapter four or five."_ Carlos relaxed immediately.

Kevin

Kevin wept. Hot drops were rolling down his cheeks only to fall down and disappear immediately into the sandy ground. Carlos was gone. He reached for the letter once more, even though he already knew every single word by heart.

A lizard passed by in front of him and with one, sudden movement he snapped it off the ground, holding it in front of his face. Kevin studied the desperate movements the animal made, trying to escape his grip. _How funny_. Up until now he had never noticed the black, beady eyes of these reptiles. Almost.. obsidian. In a sudden wave of disgust he let go of the lizard. It landed next to his feet from where it flew into the desert.

His knees trembled. He wasn't happy and nothing was ok. Carlos had brought him to tears. And the tears had brought back memories. So many suppressed and forbidden memories. They came suddenly. Emerging from the darkest corners of his mind and falling over him like monsters with sharp teeth.

 _Looking out a window, seeing nothing but empty streets crowded only with the noise of screaming sirens._

 _Vanessa, pushing against the barricaded door with all her might, when the shot cut trough the door._

 _Last words, whispered into a micro before the signal broke into static._

It was to much. It was all to much. He didn't want to remember these things.

He didn't want to be reminded of what he had become. Kevin leapt to his feet, leaving the steps of the radio station behind him, running faster and faster towards his house. The heat made breathing hard and his sobbing didn't make it any better.

One of the warriors crossed his way. Kevin didn't stop and the giant didn't ask. During the last weeks they had gotten used to the humans sudden episodes.

At home he turned the key several times in the lock and closed all the blinds.

One memory after the other still hitting him, like waves the shore. He wondered if it would ever stop.

He remembered the talk with the nice stranger from the future, while staring into the bathroom-mirror. His mirror image gazing back from two black holes, where his eyes used to be.

 _"Yes. You win."_ Kevin threw up into the toilet. Stayed on the ground, trembling, until his stomach was completely empty. Suddenly incredibly tired. _" Liar!",_ he whispered at the mirror, knowing he was being ridiculous.

Then, almost relived he felt the power of the smiling god overwhelming him again. He came to his feet, still trembling. By the time he found his toothbrush, the memories had already faded into a sweet delirium again.

Carlos

It felt so good to hear Cecil's voice in the radio. His deep, calming voice. It really distracted Carlos from his dark thoughts. This thing with the vortex in the marked place sounded rather interesting, ..but also dangerous of course.

He had started to tidy up his lab a bit, but when the static in the line started he suddenly set the test-tubes down.

He heard everything. He heard the different Kevins and Cecil's time paradoxical mistake. Carlos was still trying to process the information, when Cecil concluded the broadcast. " _Listeners, I.. What do I say here? I wish things could have gone different, obviously..."_

Frozen onto his chair he waited for something to happen. And it did. Just a moment afterwards his phone rang. Carlos didn't need to check the name on the display to know who the caller was. "Cecil!" Silence. Then the voice asked: "Did.. Did you listen to my broadcast." "I did." Now that he didn't speak to a live audience anymore he sounded even more distressed. "Please, come home immediately!

We need to talk. Also.. I need you now."

Carlos nodded only then realising Cecil couldn't see him. "I'll be there in ten minutes." He grabbed his keys of the table and left the lab.

At first they just sat there in silence. Both incapable of finding the right words. Were there even right words for this whole messed up situation?

Finally Cecil started to speak, covering his face with both hands. "It's my fault they sent Daniel. It's my fault the secret revolution failed at first and it's maybe even my fault Desert Bluffs lost against Strex!" "Don't say that!" Carlos pulled him closer, until he could feel his breath on his face. "For all we know everything with the secret revolution already happened the way it did and without you Night Vale wouldn't have made it in the first place. Also there is no guarantee, that anything you could have said would have helped Kevin." Cecil backed up a little. "Thanks! You're probably right but.. About when you were in the desert otherworld with... did..?" he stopped. Carlos sighed. "Cecil. What happened between the two of us..."-" Its fine!" Cecil interrupted in a voice proving different. "I already told you, I don't want to know what there was... just. Did he ever try to hurt or manipulate you in any way?"

Carlos looked at him in surprise. "No! Well..", his hand wandered to his neck, where Kevin's teeth had met his skin, but the cut had faded without any trace. "There was this one time he kissed me and I.. I kissed him back, imagining it was you. Then suddenly he bit my neck and I pushed him off." He paused a moment to study Cecil's reaction, but he had put up a poker face. "Anyway. He let go immediately and ran off into the desert. It took him over a week, until he came back to apologize. He looked terrible and from then on always kept his distance, when we spoke. " "He never tried anything again?" "Never. He saved my live back there, Cecil."

Cecil swore silently, while he got up from the couch. "Carlos?"- "Yes?"

"We can't leave Kevin in the desert. He just.. doesn't deserve this." Carlos nodded in relief. "I'll get the car."

Kevin

Was it possible, that his phases were changing faster? It wasn't even dawn and after writing fifteen pages of ideas for the next broadcast, Kevin had already regained consciousness. The memories weren't this overwhelming now, but they were present. Filling his mind with shame and self doubt. When he heard the knock on the door he considered pretending he wasn't here. What ever the stupid giants wanted, sure could wait until tomorrow. The knocking continued and he finally took his sunglasses from the shelf (No one needed to see the rings under his eyes.) and unlocked the door.

Confused he took a step back as he recognised the man. A better mirror image of his own face. A taste of what his "perfect self" could have looked like. Healthy and normal. "Cecil?" "Hello Kevin!" He felt a sudden fear rising from his stomach. Did Carlos tell him about _them_. Did he tell him, he had bitten him in a moment of

blurriness? Was his double here, to take revenge on him for well.. everything?

"How um.. How delightful to see you, friend!", he grinned. "It's been ages, since we last spoke." Cecil looked at him in a way that irritated him. He couldn't name the expression on his face, but it was neither happiness, nor hatred. He decided not to think about it to hard. "That's true for you, but I just spoke to you a couple hours ago."

Before Kevin could ask, what the hell this should mean, he continued. "Why did you build me a radio station, Kevin? Kevin stared at the floor, as if he could read the answer there. He thought about a lie, any lie really, but he couldn't come up with one. "I guess, I just figured Carlos would leave as soon as he found a way to go back. I thought if I get you to stay here, he will to, because all he wants is to be by your side. Believe me. He made that perfectly clear. And I was just... So scared of being alone here." It felt a bit like being the culprit in front of a judge. And Cecil sure would have made a good judge, the way he listened to his words. (Only the purple furry pants destroyed the picture a bit though..)

Kevin looked up again and suddenly he recognised the irritating expression on his doubles face. It was pity. Kevin shuddered. He wanted Cecil to be angry with him, to yell at him. Anything was better, than this silence.

"Everything you did. I can't forgive you for it. ", Cecil said now. "But I can't hate you any more either." He paused. "You were at my show this morning. I got your signal, after a vortex showed up in both of our towns. Do you remember?"

"You spoke to past me." - "Yes.. but not only. I spoke to two different past versions of you and one future version." The question came out, before Kevin realised what he was saying. "You spoke to future me? Then you know what will.. " They both stared at each other uncomfortably, as the words froze on his lips.

"Umm.. Never mind!" He tried a smile but failed. "I guess I'm better off not knowing anyway." Good thing he wore glasses.

Now it was Cecil's turn to fix the ground, as the pity on his face was joined by guilt.

"You know ever since we talked I've been thinking about what I should have told you instead of lying." Kevin gulped silently.

"If I got another chance I would have told you, that it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter because the future is not a set epilogue.

We can't change, what already happened, but now in the present we have our chance to set everything right, no matter what. "

Silence.

"So, you came to tell me what you should have said?" Cecil looked directly at him again. "Yes. But mostly I came to prove, that those are not just empty words.

"I want.. Carlos and I want you to come to Night Vale with us. It might not be easy at first, but we will do our best, to set things right again."

Kevin was out of words. There just were none. "Would you like to try a new start?" Still unable to speak he just nodded and Cecil smiled. Not forced or uncomfortable, he just smiled.

Kevin's mind almost failed to process what just happened, as he went upstairs to collect the few things he wanted to take with him. He was almost surprised, as he made his way downstairs to find Cecil still waiting for him at the door.

Sure, things were far from perfect, but there was his double, friendly telling him about their town and Carlos, leaning at the car, waving at them as they approached.

He watched the desert pass in front of the window and for the first time, since he could remember, Kevin felt like home.


End file.
